First Impressions of 'Heir to Agon'

'Heir to Agon' falls victim to common and avoidable mistakes.

The plot takes too long to start. The first two chapters introduce characters and concepts that hold no significance to the reader, simply because there is no plot hook to make them interested. Why should we care about the backstory of this man we have known for four pages? The description promises intrigue and a fall from grace, but these things barely rear their head by chapter three.

This is not helped by the extensive exposition. The flow of events is often broken up by entire paragraphs telling the backstory of characters and the world. This is done well before the point where the reader has a chance to care about any of it and it is all told, nothing is shown. The writing of the action scenes often fails to convey a sense of urgency, since it's bogged down by excessive adverbs or needlessly complicated sentence structures.

Some segments of dialogue do a good job at establishing relationships between characters, but they all lack a discernible voice. Guards, mages, and bards all talk alike. The goal of writing a fast-paced action novel is laudable, but is not achieved here.

All of the mentioned issues are common among beginning writers and should not discourage from further practice. They all have well-established cures that can be found in any book / homepage / Youtube video that teaches creative writing.

Heir to Agon on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18524654-heir-to-agon?from_search=true&search_version=service

My profile on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/53682191-aldun